Monday, December 30, 2013

New Year


As 2013 comes to a close it's time for me to reflect on the year that's ending and make plans and set goals for the upcoming year. I've always been the type to make New Years resolutions, however I've pretty inconsistent about my follow through. I want this year to be different and I know it will be. So what makes this year so different: I'll unpack that for you now.

A little over a year ago was January 1, 2013 and in looking back at where I was and the person I was in that moment seems very different to who I've become. I'm not perfect and I still have many places to go and lots of work to do on myself but I'm starting this year from a much better place than last. At this time last year I was living with my parents and working a part-time minimum wage job. I was very happy to be employed considering the previous year I had been unemployed. So I made the usual New Years resolutions of paying down my debt and getting in shape, but the most important was achieving independence through achieving a full time job. By the end of 2013 I had achieved my most important resolutions: a full-time job in another that has definitely given me independence and I know it will lead to a better financial future and overall future for myself. 

As 2013 winds down and I'm preparing for 2014 I'm feeling like a new person, the kind of feeling that I'm finally reaching adulthood and a maturity level I never thought possible. This in large part due to the fact that I was finally forced to take care of myself and my own life because I'm no longer living with my parents. It feels great to finally be independent and have the feeling of not relying on anyone else for my life. I finally feel free to do whatever I want with my life and the possibilities are endless!


In looking back at this year I can also say that I've learned some highly valuable lessons that I will carry over into the new year. I've learned:
- That 'adulthood' doesn't relate to the number of years under your belt, it's a state of being, feeling and acting;
- Working full time while also taking care of yourself and your life is hard work and I understand why I delayed it for so long, but in doing so I feel like I've also delayed a lot of the benefits that come along with it;
- In moving several hours away from friends and family I've been forced to fend for myself by feeding myself, paying for myself, cleaning up after myself and all the tedious tasks that go along with 'adulthood';
- I finally feel like if I could get to a place where I'm living the life I want, I'm taking care of myself and my responsibilities on the regular and with consistency, maybe then I'll be ready to take care of another person and have them join my life;
- If I really want something then I need to work at it continually and consistently everyday.


Another important resolution that I made last year was to become more assertive in my life. This included finding out what I want out of life and the things that are important to me and then fiercely defending myself and these things from the outside world. I experienced many things this year that helped me to become more assertive and I now have a better idea of what I want from life. I also realize that it's more important to me to be assertive in what I want from life then trying to please everyone. I want to have a happy and harmonious life and I realize as I'm getting older that I have less tolerance for falseness and untruths; therefore I will continue to simply my life through assertiveness going into 2014. 

In honour of the new year I've made a list of some very specific new years resolutions that will serve me in the coming year:
- Pay off a least a quarter of my total debt this year. 
- Put $2000 in savings this year. 
- Take a trip out west this year. 
- Workout at least 3 days a week that includes running, swimming, yoga and body weight exercises.  
- Eat healthy everyday by preparing my own meals with minimal wheat, diary and sugar. 
- Eat out a maximum of once per week. 
- Overall goal of losing 50 lbs by the end of the year. 
- Excel in my job, do the best I can every shift and stay out of the drama and politics. 
- Maintain my current relationships, meet new people, make friends, explore the city, expand my horizons and learn new things. 
- Expand my cake decorating, chocolate working, baking and tea horizons through courses, workshops and experimentation and start setting the foundation for a thriving business. 
- Improve my web presence by writing a blog post every 2 weeks. 
- Learn how to properly write a screenplay and then write one.

So as you can see I do have some lofty goals for this year and I could look at that list and get overwhelmed but I really know I'm capable of it and that I can handle it. I've been letting myself off too easy in the past and now it's time I start making myself accountable to myself because if I don't do it no one else will. As always here's to an uncommonly wealthy life and new year! :)

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The Completion of the Purge

I previously wrote about my quest to minimize my life by purging a lot of my material goods and I have realized that in the summer I just barely scraped the surface. I'm moving to a new city this weekend for a great job opportunity and a move is a great way to force yourself to purge. So I have finally completed the great purge of 2013 that I first embarked on in the summer. Here's the breakdown:

Here is some visual evidence of what I was up against in the context of all the stuff I had stored in my parent's basement:


As you can see, it was a mismatch of boxes, furniture and bags. It was quite the task: that's for sure! I started by making notes that read 'donate', 'garage sale/sell', 'keep/store', 'keep/move' and 'garbage/recycle'. I then just began going through everything and matching it to the corresponding note and sorting everything into piles. I consolidated a lot of the stuff I wanted to keep to either move or store in a few plastic boxes instead of having all sorts of random bags and whatnot hanging around. It took me a few days and a little help from my friends but I did it! 

What I learned in doing this purge:
- Sometimes it's hard to part with material possessions because of the perceived value and/or emotional attachment associated with these items;
- It definitely helps to have an unbiased second or third party to ground you in reality when trying to decide whether to part with certain items;
- In the end it's just stuff and it ultimately doesn't make me a more happy person nor defines who I am as a person or my worth to society;
- It feels really great to purge myself of a lot of the stuff that has been weighing me down physically and emotionally for many years.
- I've spent a lot of money over in the years in accumulating all this stuff and sometimes spending money I didn't have;
- There are many areas in my life that I can look to for becoming more minimalist;
- Now that I've purged the best way to continue in my minimalism quest is prevention;
- The best form of minimalism is to appreciate and use all the possessions I already have as well as loving and taking care of them.

Here is my 'after' picture of all my stuff:



The top left picture is the stuff to move, the top right picture is stuff in storage in my parent's basement, the bottom left picture is a couple pieces of furniture to move and the bottom right picture is the stuff to sell, donate or throughout. As you can see, it's a lot more manageable and organized.

I'm personally feeling much lighter after doing this purge and I hope it inspires others to do the same. It took a move to motivate me to get my butt in gear for my purge but you don't need an excuse: you can purge at any time. If you're thinking about doing a purge in the near future here is a handy chart, that my sister found and sent me, that may help you sort through the chaos:


Good luck with your purge and please share what worked, what didn't work and what/who helped you in your journey to minimizing your life. As always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

November Resolutions

It is now November and with it comes the winter weather. As much as I love the snow and winter sports, I do not; however, look forward to the cold weather and I would prefer to hibernate throughout winter or else live somewhere warmer. November also signals that we're nearing the end of the year with only 2 months left in the year! Wow, that doesn't seem like a lot but it is more than enough time to start some new things and ingrain some new habits and patterns into my life. So instead of waiting until January and the beginning of a new year to make some resolutions, I've decided to make some November resolutions and start working on them now so that come the new year I have some new habits and patterns already ingrained so that it becomes much easier to continue in 2014.

 

First of all, the most important change I want to make to my life is to become a more positive person. I'm not talking about the kind that leads to denial and helplessness, I'm talking about the kind that doesn't allow the external world to dictate my internal state. I'm talking about decreasing my own suffering by taking responsibility for my life. This includes decreasing complaining, excuse making and blaming the external world for my troubles. Instead I want to work on always looking for a silver lining in every situation. This may seem like a somewhat simple task, however it is not; it will take much practice and patience to unlearn old habits and patterns of thinking and seeing the world and learn a completely new way.

We are socialized to be negative and realistic but it is not our nature, just think of children: they are the most positive, wide-eyed optimists I have ever met! Then we teach them that it's not realistic and life is hard and blah, blah, blah. All those limiting and false beliefs that keep us supposedly safe and in our comfort zones. For example, back in the summer I was experiencing a bunch of external circumstances that at the time I thought were making me happy, but even when I had these things in my life and especially when they were gone I found out that I wasn't truly happy internally. I'm realizing that in order to live a happy and fulfilled life I need to be happy with myself in the here and now regardless of my external circumstances. Sometimes this is hard to do, especially when going through particularly difficult times or situations.

Next I need to start being accountable to myself about where my time and energy goes. In the past I have just gone with my whimsy and let others take control of my time. In that sense I let friendships and relationships and family members control my time and energy and let them create distractions for me. Then I would get sad and depressed that I felt like my life wasn't my own and I would never get done the things I actually wanted to do and wanted to put my time and energy towards. The solution to this, I have realized, is to tightly schedule and regulate my time and fiercely protect this schedule from outside intrusion. This is going to be a hard one for me but I have taken a cue from S.A. Wilson and her unwavering dedication to her craft and you can too.

Another important part of my journey for the end of this year is to let go of my attachment to expectations and outcomes. For example, I seem to always be planning 10 steps in the future and thinking about what will become of me if this and that happens or doesn't happen instead of enjoying the present moment. In this sense I seem to sabotage potentially good things by getting angry, upset and frustrated when situations, things and people don't live up to my expectations. I intend to focus on enjoying the present while planning for the future and letting go of the outcome. This means doing what I can to plan and schedule my life and do things that will get me to the life I want and deserve but at the same time enjoy where I am now and enjoy the process and the journey and also have faith in the universe and the fact that everything is happening FOR me and exactly how it is supposed to.

Wow, that's a lot to tackle and I know it will take a lot of diligence and work in the same way that being positive will, but I am fully prepared for the hard work. I want to work and I've been looking for meaningful and fulfilling work my whole life and I realize now I will never find it in the external world in the form of a job, career or occupation; I have found it in the form of personal development and work on myself.


I used to dread the future and 'growing up' because I couldn't see a clear path towards it but now that I've let go of that 'vision' for my future I'm more excited and I am actually looking forward to it. I can see that my future holds so many possibilities and that is exhilarating. I now look forward to living those moments because that is all we really have: the present. Instead of living in my head I am going to live in the here and now. I am looking forward to an amazing and wonderful life in my future but I will live it and enjoy it when I get there, for now I will enjoy where I am because I will never be here again and I will never have this moment back. Why skip over the now in order to have some illusion of a beautiful future? The future will come no matter what but in the meantime I am going to work hard, have fun and enjoy the process! As always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)

Monday, October 07, 2013

The Start of My Life

Last week I had a bit of an epiphany moment and it came courtesy of the universe and finally listening to myself. I feel like I'm finally listening to my inner wise old woman, my inner child and the signals from the universe. I've spent the majority of my adult life fighting; fighting myself, my friends, my parents, my family and society. And where has it got me? Good question that I have answered in a previous blog post but to sum it up: I'm out of shape, overweight, unhappy, almost 30, in debt, living with my parents and working a going-nowhere part-time job. I feel lost and this week was a highlight of those feelings as I felt like I was hitting rock bottom emotionally. I've put on a really good external face that I'm happy with my life and I'm ok with just scraping by, but I'm not. I'm tired of putting my life on hold while I "get my shit together", ie: working just to work in order to pay off my debt and then I'll start living and being happy. Screw that! I'm sick of it, I'm sick of playing small and trying to ignore the nagging from my soul!

I've ignored my true self and my true calling for way too long because I've bought into all the naysayers and the negativity from the people who supposedly care about me and love me and just 'want the best for me'. Well their idea of what's best for me is not my idea of what's best for me and I KNOW it's not what's best for me! I used to fight in the right way, when I was younger I used to fight for myself to prove the naysayers wrong. When someone told me I couldn't do something or that something couldn't be done, it was like it became a challenge for me, a personal internal challenge to prove those people and society wrong. I always wanted to be the person who did the things that no one thought was possible or were too afraid to try themselves. Somewhere along the line I lost that fight, I lost that drive, I lost my true grit and I'm ready to bring it back!

While I laid in my bed one day last week, in the throws of a crying episode, I realized that my entire world view needs to change. I realized that I'm trying to approach my life the same way every time and every time I've found myself back at the beginning and no where closer to where I want to be but I keep trying the same thing again and again and expecting different results, that is the definition of insanity is it not...?!


So here I am at the cusp of the rest of my life and instead of playing small, instead of buying into everyone else's opinions, instead of just giving in & giving up I'm going to do it differently, I'm going to go against the grain and against all the traditional advice and follow my heart! So far the traditional advice has not worked because I'm not a traditional person and I'm never going to just fit into and accept the status quo. It's time I truly embraced my true self, my deepest held dreams and desires and went after what I wanted with the fight and drive I know I possess and prove all the naysayers wrong! I can no longer wait until the "timing is right" because it'll never be the right time, I must create the right time and create the life of my dreams because I refuse to go to my grave regretting all the things I didn't do. Even if I fail, at least I can say I tried, I actually gave it all the effort and power it deserves and I know I possess before admitting defeat. I seem to like to take a self-defeatist attitude toward myself, my dreams and my desires a lot of the time. I've been a supreme saboteur of my own life for way too long, but no longer, no longer will I allow my internal gremlins/demons destroy me!

I've been talking in general so far and now I want to break down the specifics of what my life will entail moving forward into the future:

- I will no longer apologize for being myself or for expressing my true self or my dreams and desires;
- I will take responsibility for my own happiness and not let external people, circumstances and events dictate my internal state;
- I will embrace my shadow self and my various emotions, look at them and deal with them and express them without apology;
- Accept that I may have to lose a large part of my current life in this pursuit but also realize I will gain so much more in this new life;
- Take care of myself and my body everyday through self-love & acceptance and by only putting the best stuff into my body, being active and spiritual;
- Continue to strive for all the tenants that are important to my uncommonly wealthy life
- Work hard everyday and in every way and stop letting myself off the hook;
- Stop giving away my power by blaming other people, situations and society for my life; take back my power by living purposefully everyday;
- Find something to be grateful for everyday and enjoy the life I'm living right now;
- No longer allow FEAR to run my life and keep me small;
- Enjoy the journey! :)

This is going to be the start of something new and amazing for me and I know it won't be easy and it won't be smooth sailing the entire time but I can't let small hiccups be my excuse to give up or give in. I'm prepared to keep working hard in the face of what may seem like insurmountable odds because this is what I've always wanted and can no longer ignore. I also realize that it'll be amazing and exhilarating as well and that I'll be happy and more fulfilled. Life and the universe will open up in response to my acceptance of this invitation. World: here I come and as always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)


Monday, September 16, 2013

Fall Updates

In honour of the changing of the seasons and this beautiful Fall day here is an update on the status of my great summer purge of 2013. It was the summer of 2013 and I engaged on a rather ambitious summer project to become more of a minimalist. I set myself some lofty goals and I didn't get to every one of them because some were much bigger jobs than I originally thought; however, I did achieve a lot that I'm very proud of. I put a dent in my stuff and I took that all important first step and made some great strides towards living a more minimalist life.

Firstly, I tackled my closet with help from a friend and purged 170 pieces of clothing and I stuck to not shopping throughout the summer. Now with the new season I've found myself doing a bit of shopping again but I also know that another purge is due in order to organize my closet for a new season. I'm setting myself a new goal of shorting through my fall and winter wardrobe and then figuring out how to shop based on what pieces I already have and what pieces I need in order to have coordinating outfits that I'll actually wear. In terms of purging my accessories, I did pick out the ones that I really like and enjoy and wear the most often and I got rid of a lot of old and out of style ones.

The other big purge job I did was my books. I'm most proud of this because it was long overdue and I feel so much better getting rid of that access weight I've been carrying around with me for way too long. My books were originally on several different bookshelves throughout my parents house and I didn't know which books I had read or still needed to read. I also had way too many out of date texts books just hanging around and collecting dust and that I hadn't looked at since University (over 5 years ago!). So I sorted my books into the following categories: read & keep, donate/sell, and to read. I also sorted through the books I had that I needed to return to various friends and tried to do so as much as feasibly possible. I put all my books I was going to keep onto one bookshelf and organized them according to read, to-read, self-help, cookbooks and other.

The finished beautiful masterpiece of my bookshelf! :)

In the case of my textbooks I was originally planning on just throwing them out because they are all way out of date and who wants/needs them at this point? But then I found out that a cousin of mine has been collecting old texts books at garage sales and re-selling them on amazon to all sorts of people, like students and collectors. So obviously I thought that instead of wasting these books and having them end up in a garage pile, I thought I would at least try my hand at the amazon seller world and see what came of it. So far I have sold 2 textbooks for $50 each, which is awesome considering I didn't have that money beforehand and now the books are going to a good home, at least I hope.

My pile of textbooks just waiting for a happy home to take them in. 

Now in terms of the other challenges of organizing all my stored stuff in my parents basement and purging my sticker/paper collection, I haven't quite got to that yet. They're very big jobs that will become part of a new Fall challenge for myself. The sticker/paper collection is a tough one because of the sentimental connection I have to it because I bought a lot of it as emotional crutches when I was going through a hard time. I guess having to go through and purge the stickers and paper represents in my head having to face that dark time in my past, but maybe it'll also help me cleanse and heal those old wounds? I think it is something I still must do.

My new Fall challenge to myself includes organizing and purging my winter clothes, my stored stuff at my parents house and my sticker and paper collection as well as continue to sell my textbooks on amazon. As always, here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Experiences Instead of Stuff

Many things have happened in my life since I lasted posted. All of these things have lead to me making a paramount life decision. This decision was always something that I felt and knew but that I didn't necessarily intellectually accept until just recently. This fundamental life truth is that I would rather spend my time, money and energy accumulating amazing life experiences instead of stuff. I have always felt this way however I'm only now realizing what this actually means and will entail. Let me explain.

Ever since I can remember I have always felt out of place in this world in which we call our modern western society. I have never understood the motives, desires and attitudes of my peers. I have always been one to feel (and at times act) rebellious towards authority figures, peers/colleagues and our society. I never understood the desire of females my age to rush into a 'fairy tale wedding' with any old guy just so they could walk down the aisle in a princess dress and/or their desire to procreate as soon as possible. I also never wanted to be dependent on anyone else for my life and livelihood, especially my partner. I never understood why people make themselves miserable and sick working at a job they hate for a soulless corporation that could care less about them just so they can buy a bunch of stuff, move to the suburbs, buy a house, car and have 2.5 kids all while accumulating piles of debt that lock them into their soul-sucking jobs and keeps them chained to their debt and location-dependent. When I think about the future of our so-called adult lives, why does anyone want that, why does anyone do it? It just sounds so terrible to me and a never-ending cycle. Once we settle for the things that don't make us happy in our lives it becomes easier and easier to settle for other not so great situations like toxic relationships and social injustices (to name a few).


By accepting the status quo we feed into it and it will never change. I just never understood and still don't understand the appeal of living this average life just like everyone else. I think there are others who have felt and/or feel this way, however as we grow older the world beats you down and you may find that you start to question yourself because you can't see any alternatives...most of the people you know, meet, trust and even love live this way and/or strive to live this way. So somewhere along the line you give in, little by little and it chips away at your resolve and you get caught in the cycle. It's like a trap and it's very hard to escape because oftentimes your friends and family are your jailors.

One of the major symptoms of this 'modern society mentality' (aptly named by yours truly) is the consumerism pathology. This pathology is characterized by an obsessive compulsion to consume as witnessed by overspending, buying things that one does not need, spending money one does not have and in extreme cases hoarding. Consumerism can be thought of as an addiction in a similar manner to the way we describe addictions to gambling, sex and/or food to name a few. The compulsive shopper gets a high from a new purchase in an effort to fill an emotional void in their life and then finds themselves feeling emptier (& poorer) than before when the high quickly dissipates and they're off again chasing a new, stronger and better high than last time.

I know this pathology very well because I have succumbed to it in the past and I'm still firmly in its grasps. Earlier in my adult life I found myself lost, alone and damaged and instead of listening to myself and the universe I listened to society and made some colossal mistakes. I had lost my trust in myself because of mistakes I'd made that hurt myself and my loved ones so I thought I could make up for it by doing what I was told, but that didn't work out so well. In ignoring my own instincts and the signs from the universe, I set myself up to fail, which was the one thing I was so afraid of doing. I realize now that mistakes are inevitable and a natural part of life and especially important in our development and growth, which was a huge step forward for me. However, before I realized this fundamental life lesson I went through a depression that was fueled by compulsive spending.

So I'm here today feeling like my life is making a lot more sense and I think I'm figuring it out, slowly but surely, but I'm still living with the consequences of my previous actions. I am shackled by credit card debt and a student loan with not much to show for it and I find myself dependent on other people (my parents) to sustain myself. I could have a really negative outlook on the entire situation, which I have in the past, but instead I have chosen to see the positive in it. I'm slowly chipping away at my debt and living with my parents has given me the freedom to explore myself again and to truly figure out my life and calling. I will also have a chance to explore living more of the life that I've always wanted and that starts with becoming minimalist.

I realize that another part of being a minimalist is to appreciate what I already have, even if that's not much, instead of always wanting more and wanting what everyone else has. So a major goal that I would like to add to my summer purge challenge is the appreciation of what I already have. I have also been inspired lately by a few life-changing experiences and amazing new people who have entered my life that have all reinforced my own feelings and the messages from the universe that rich life experiences are way more important to me than a bunch of stuff that I barely use or look at and just gather dust. Therefore, I'm here today to re-devote myself to minimizing my life by purging my stuff so that I can eventually become a location-independent globe-trotter full to the brim of awesome memories! :)


Friday, June 21, 2013

Challenge Accepted!

Here I am 2 weeks after my initial blog post and that first post was a long time in the making because of my fear surrounding putting myself out there in blog form and then I did it and I didn't find it so bad. It was slightly scary but I love my friends and family because they have been super supportive and that helps a lot.

This week I would like to talk about a personal challenge to myself to become more of a minimalist. This includes living with less, pairing down the stuff I have and fighting the urge to accumulate more. I have been reading the signs from the universe and she has been very clear in illustrating that I need to stop shopping and stop spending my money recklessly. These signs have come in the form of me continually losing and/or breaking many of my things lately.

With inspiration and help from my best friend over at the Sarcastic Bystander,I have already paired down my closet. I donated, repurposed and/or threw-out about 170 pieces of clothing that I no longer wear or are inappropriate for various reasons including being worn out, wrong size, etc. I donated most of the pieces to Value Village and threw out anything that was too far gone. Here is a handy visual of all the clothes I purged from my closet:

                                                                        Picture used with permission from http://www.sarcasticbystander.com/

Before my closet demolition, I also helped her purge her closet in her quest to live a more healthy and minimalist life. Check out her purge I helped with!
We have also embarked on a challenge to not buy any more clothing for the rest of the summer. So far I have stuck to this challenge fairly well (minus a slip or 2). So in that vain and with inspiration from my best friend and her healthy lifestyle I am going to set myself an additional summer challenge.

The Summer Purge of 2013 (as I have so named it) will include the following:
  • In addition to buying no more clothing for the summer, I also commit to not buying any more accessories and purging the accessories I do have;
  • Purging of my books and bookshelf, including finishing the numerous books I have started and getting rid of those University textbooks I will never touch again;
  • Organizing and purging all the 'stuff' I have stored at my parents that I hope to use once I move out; and
  • I am a paper and sticker hoarder, so I think it is time to use, sell, donate & purge a lot of that stuff as well.
So this is my challenge to myself and one thing that has always been hard for me in sticking to challenges and commitments I make to myself is the follow-through. I can talk myself into or out of anything and I am great with the excuses. I hope that this public commitment to the challenge will help motivate me better than I've been able to motivate myself so far. I know a lot of you can relate to this so please help me out and keep me accountable. This will be the first of many challenges I set for myself that I will share with you that will hopefully lead to a healthier, happier and uncommon life. Challenge Accepted! :) 



Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Welcome to My Blog!


I have been struggling for weeks to find the perfect topic for my very first blog post. I had so many ideas floating around in my head but I was never really happy with any of them. Just now as I was lying in bed unable to sleep and contemplating my existence it came to me, in the same way that any good idea does, like a bolt of lighting that jolts you out of bed and into action. So here I am with my very first blog post about... but wait I need to give you a little background before I explain the premise of this post and the blog itself.

In the past few months of my life there have been a lot of weird things that have happened to me. It's funny how at the time one can look at their life and feel stagnated but in looking back with hindsight bias one can see the forest for the trees....too many analogies possibly in that one...? Anyways, what I am trying to say is that all these weird occurrences have added up and eventually led to this one glorious moment and the beginning of this blog!

It seems like all the bizarre occurrences of my life this past year have led to this one bizarre day a few weeks ago that I remember very well. So I will start with explaining that I was feeling like I had been stuck in a rut and going around in circles for a long time when it comes to my life and career path. I have been stagnated by my very own decision paralysis. I think a lot of people can relate to this state; it is a state of being in which you find yourself unable to move forward because of the inability to make a concrete decision and act on it. I have so many ideas, interests and possible avenues that I could focus my attention towards that it is hard for me to decide which one to choose. I am paralyzed by a fear that I will make the wrong choice AGAIN and then I will be stuck or in the same place as now or in an even worse situation. I also fear that if I choose one thing than by default I will have to give up the other things. This is tough for me because I know I need to make a decision in order to move forward and I really want to move forward with my life and start doing what I love.

The point being that this was never more evident than the day I went to a healthy living expo with my best friend. At said Expo, I meet a woman who was a holistic healer, working at a healing practice that specialized in various techniques, one that I had never heard about before was colour therapy. I was skeptical but curious about the idea and my friend was the courageous one that asked for an explanation. The woman explained that is was the use of a variety of coloured jars and asking someone what colours appealed to them the most and then an explanation of how this is related to their personality and life. So my friend ventures forward and points out some coloured jars she finds attractive and the woman starts in on a perfect explanation of my best friend's personality and her best traits, it was eerie. I then decided to try it as well, seeing how she was highly accurate with my friend. So I stepped forward and pointed to a bottle which was a mix of orange and purple. She then explained that the fact that I choose that particular bottle means that I am a healer, someone who has a lot of wisdom to share and is able to help people in the healing arts, however I have a lot of fear that surrounds these gifts and my wisdom. BAM! Wow, that was a life changing moment for me. Both my friend and I were blown away by the accuracy of this stranger's description of us based solely on the colours that appealed to us. It was a big wow moment for me and made me think...

For example, I have for most of my short life always been attracted to health care related jobs and I have known from an early age that I wanted to help people, no matter what I ended up choosing as a career and life path, it had to be something that contributed to overall society in a positive way. I started at an early age as a Lifeguard and I taught swimming lessons to children, I volunteered my time and qualifications as often as possible to first aid related causes. I went into university with the intention of going to Medical school and when that didn't pan out I tried out nursing but I didn't finish my degree and then I found myself employed as a 911 operator for ambulance services. It may seem that my choices have been related to my life and work experiences and expertise but I have also found myself drawn to these professions, but somehow feeling not fulfilled in them. I thought about going the complementary and alternative medicine route but that was something that also required a lot of time and money and little support from family, friends and society as a whole. So now I find myself working for the municipal government doing a job that leaves me unfulfilled.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how I am afraid. I keep myself paralyzed and stuck because I am afraid of making a decision, I'm afraid of making the wrong one. So I don't make any decision and I stagnant. I have ideas but I don't start anything because I'm afraid I wont finish it, or I'm afraid I'll fail or even that I'm afraid I'll succeed. Most of all, I'm afraid of being vulnerable, of just totally being my true damaged, scared, horrific and beautiful self with another human being. So here I am at the corner of the rest of my life stuck scared and the rest of my life beautifully open and I find this blog. This lowly little blog can be that first step for me, it can be that place where I can safely try being vulnerable with the training wheels on. I want to share my life with the world, my trials and tribulations and the lessons I learn along the way so that others can learn and grow as well and maybe even get a little bit of entertainment out of it.

So on that fateful day this woman who I have never meet before and doesn't know me from Adam, has summed-up my entire life and existence in a couple sentences and with one dual-coloured bottle of liquid. My best friend and I both walked away from the experience feeling profoundly moved. What shot through me while I laid in bed this evening was that thought and those words from this woman; that I have a lot of wisdom to share and that I am afraid. I want to help people, I know that for a fact and I have always wanted to do that with my life, but I have struggled for a long time to figure out the right way for me to do that. I was hit tonight by the thought that this blog, this one right here, the one you are reading right now, can be that vehicle for me to help people. I know I am not the only person going through the things I am going through and I know I am learning and growing everyday and I really do want to share that journey with the world. If I can help one person's life be a little easier by learning from my mistakes instead of making their own then it will be worth it.

So welcome to my blog, Uncommon Wealth, the name of which comes from some distant memory from my youth. I think you can interrupt the title in whatever way seems fit for yourself but I know what it means to me. For me and in this context it refers to the richness that comes from a wonderful life, the wealth of happiness and prosperity that will never be found in monetary form. So here is to your uncommonly wealthy life! Cheers! :)