Sunday, December 28, 2014

Year in Review - 2014

As per the tradition at this time of year, it's time to look back at the year that's ending and make predictions and resolutions for the year to come. As 2014 comes to an end, I find myself looking back at the resolutions I made last year and feeling pretty proud of myself for all that I've accomplished. I'm also feeling so grateful for all the wonderful things that have happened this year and I'm going to make some new years resolutions for 2015.

I made a bunch of resolutions for 2014 at around this same time last year that I posted to this here blog. Now I will go into a breakdown of those resolutions and what I've accomplished in comparison. In the financial department I made the resolution to payoff a quarter of my debt and instead I took out a consolidation loan and paid off my credit cards, was able to cancel one and then take a trip with the rest of the loan. At this point I feel like I'm sitting in the same, if not worse spot with my debt then I was last year but at the same time I'm in a better overall financial position and I'm confident that I will come out of this year in a much better position. I also wanted to put $2000 in savings this year and I did accomplish this, however I then also spent it on my European trip, which was so worth it.

Speaking of trips; I wrote last year that I was going to take a trip out to western Canada and I didn't quite make it all the way west but I did visit my sister in Winnipeg and then I also took a trip to Europe. In October for my 30th birthday I finally took a trip that I've been wanting to go on since I can remember: Europe. Even though this trip may have set me back in the area of my debt, savings and overall budget, it was so worth it. After all, what's the point of having money and savings if not to use it on the fun things I want to experience?

Then in the realm of health and fitness I pledged to workout at least 3 times per week, eat out less and make and eat more healthy food. At the beginning of the year I really didn't do that great with the healthy living, eating and exercise but I made some really great strides in the second part of the year. I began working with a personal trainer in August which was great motivation for exercising that minimum of 3 times per week. This new found motivation also lead to better eating as well, which was great. I did take a 3 week break in October for my trip, in which I wasn't going to the gym regularly and I was eating and drinking whatever I wanted and again it was so worth it. I got myself quickly back into working out and eating right once I was back to real life. As I currently pass through the holiday season I find myself having trouble sticking to my healthy lifestyle but it felt good to do some clothes shopping this week and buy a few outfits that were a size smaller than what I would previously buy. That's great motivation for me to keep up the healthy changes and make a commitment to get more serious about my healthy goals going into the new year. Another goal I was hoping to achieve this year was to lose 50 lbs and even though I didn't lose that much weight I've made some great strides towards improving my overall health and getting into better shape and I've realized that the number on the scale isn't the be-all and end-all of my healthy living journey.

I also made some pretty general resolutions about doing well in my job, exploring the city, making new friends and expanding my horizons, which I believe were all accomplished. The ones I didn't accomplish were to start a cake decorating business, write a blog post every 2 weeks and write a screenplay. I did continue the blog but not with a specific schedule, I made a couple cakes and I started writing a novel this year. Looking back at the year as a whole I'm very proud at what I've accomplished and now I want to continue with all this positive momentum into the new year.

So for 2015 I commit to continuing with the positive and healthy lifestyle I've created for myself and setup some more healthy habits and do some more fun things this year. This includes:

- Working out 3 times per week including weight lifting and cardio like running and swimming.
- Signup to run a 5k race.
- Eating healthy and organic by cutting out processed foods, minimizing sugar and alcohol and making homemade meals and snacks.
- Continue to cleanup my health through buying and using healthy hygiene, cleaning and makeup products

I also want to start scheduling my life and making some of my healthy habits automatic and natural and part of my morning routine including daily meditation, yoga and flossing. In regards to my writing I'm going to commit to writing a blog post once a week, finish writing my novel and I'm going to read at least 20 books this year. Obviously paying down my debt, travelling and continuing to do my best in my job will also be on my list for things to accomplish in 2015.

Another really important resolution to me in 2014 was to work on being more assertive. Even though it wasn't always an easy ride, I did become more assertive in owning my own life and happiness this year which I will definitely continue into 2015. In that vain I would also like to work on decreasing my procrastination when it comes to the everyday and sometimes mundane life tasks that I often drag my feet on completing.

I'm really looking forward to all that 2015 will bring and even though I have a lot of things I want to accomplish I'm also going to be easier on myself. I know that self-love is a very important part of making important and lasting healthy lifestyle changes so even if I miss or fall down or fail once and a while I won't be too hard on myself, I will allow for rest and recuperation and I will take care of myself and my needs first. Do you make new years resolutions? And if you do what are some of yours for 2015? Here's to your uncommonly wealthy New Years and 2015! :)

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I'm Back!

The wayward traveler has returned to her long neglected blog. I have a host of updates pertaining to what I've been up to while I was away and what to expect from me in the future. I plan to re-dedicate myself to writing and especially to this blog as the year winds down and heading into the new year: 2015!

Here is what you can expect from me in upcoming posts:

- Health & Fitness Updates: where I'm at and what I've learned along the way;
- Career Updates: working on a career change and the path I'm taking to accomplish this;
- Healthy Beauty Updates: my quest to become more healthy in the hygiene products I use. This will include reviews on products I've tried and help from my sister S.A. Wilson over at Sense of Aesthetic blog; [PS there's a video and a new vlog series in the works!]
- Writing Updates: I'm currently participating in National Novel Writing Month #NaNoWriMo and my plans for the novel when it's completed;
- Travel Updates: I spent most of October gallivanting all over Europe; (Includes a video and lots of pics!)
- Friends and Family Updates: some loses and gains in this department this year and what I've learned from these experiences and how I'm feeling going into 2015. 

That's it for now. Stay tuned for all the wonderfulness that is my life currently. And as always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! Cheers! :)

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Enough with the Excuses!

The other day I had a visit from my sister and she gave me some really great advice that frankly I needed to hear. Her simple advice was to just start writing: she told me that I can publish what I write instantly chapter by chapter using the website as she has been doing. She also told me that I have a lot of great ideas and that I should just write them because they deserve to be shared with the world. It seems like simple advice but it was exactly the kind of kick in the butt I needed. 

I interpreted this advice as: 'enough with the excuses, just do the work already!' Which is nothing new, this is the advice I've read and heard before many times, but I guess I just finally got it. I got it in a new way, in a way that I've never experienced before. I've had the experience many times in my life of understanding many different concepts intellectually before truly understanding it on the other important levels: emotionally, spiritually and physically. This is an example of a piece of advice that's gone in one ear and out the other so many times and I finally get it, I really do!

To me it means so many different things and it can be applied to so many different areas of my life that it feels like a game-changer, like this is a really important turning point in my adult life. I've made excuses about my life circumstances, I've made excuses about why I won't lose weight, I've made excuses about my finances and I've made excuses for myself. And these excuses are all lies, lies that I tell myself to feel better about the reasons why I'm not achieving the things I want to achieve, why I'm not where I want to be in my life and why I'm overweight and unhappy. In their truest forms they're all just different names for the same thing: resistance. 

Resistance rears it's ugly head every time we attempt or even think about trying to improve ourselves in anyway or any time we venture into the realm of creativity. I've experienced resistance in creative areas such as writing and acting, in financial and freedom areas and in the area of health and fitness. I started this blog as a 'lifestyle design' blog because I wanted to design my life a certain way and I've made a lot of strides in this regard but I've also made a few stumbles. And that's ok, I'm not here to beat myself up about it, I'm here to acknowledge how far I've come, what I've learned and what I need to do to keep moving forward. 

I was looking back at some of my previous posts and it's amazing how many of my resolutions and other commitments I've made in this blog that I've actually completed. Here's a breakdown:
New Year's Resolutions:
- I've paid off all my credit cards by using a consolidation loan which I now pay back in smaller monthly increments with a fraction of the interest,
- I have money in my savings account and it's more than what I originally predicted,
- I took a trip out west to Winnipeg to visit my sister in the spring and I'm going on a dream Europe vacation this fall,
- I've started working with a personal trainer and I have a gym membership,
- I've gone through ups & downs when it comes to the eating heathy but I'm re-committing to making more of my own meals because I love to cook,
- I haven't lost the weight I wanted but I've set myself a new goal of getting heathy, strong and in shape. I want to look and feel better even if the scale doesn't change a whole lot,
- I've excelled in my job, I feel like I get better everyday and I'm still learning, I stay out of the politics and I try my best always. I'm loving my job and that's a choice I made, 
- I've actually started to make new friends in toronto, which is awesome! I've reconnected with some old friends, I've maintained most of my old Ottawa friendships and I'm learning a lot about my new city. Unfortunately I did say goodbye to a longterm friendship this year but in the end I think it was for the best, it had become a toxic friendship that was no longer benefitting either of us. I haven't closed that door forever though, maybe sometime in the future when we're both more mature and have forgiven each other we can be friends again but even if not, it was great while it lasted. :)
- I've done a bit of cake decorating this year but I think it'll remain a hobby for now as I concentrate on other life endeavors,
- I've haven't been blogging as much as I wanted to but that will be changing. I have a lot of fun ideas for future blogs in the next few months as we closeout 2014 (including a rundown of my Europe trip),
- I haven't written a screenplay but I've started writing again. I'm going to take my sisters advice and just start writing on wattpad and I'm also committing myself to the November novel writing month challenge this year,
- And lastly the acting career I was hoping to start once I was in Toronto: I haven't done it and frankly I'm not sure if I will. I have some soul-searching to do in that respect but for right now I'm happy focusing on my writing. :)

In terms of a couple more things I mentioned:
- I've started my 3 stars blog and I've posted my first post!
- I'm still on the fence about my favourite things and a baking blog/vlog. I think at this point concentrating on the 2 blogs and a novel (or 2) is my priority. I can always come back to them in the future. 

All in all I think I've come a LONG way this year and I've made some great progress. I still have a long way to go but that's ok, as long as I'm working, as long as I have creative and important (to me at least) things to do then I'm happy. I just have to keep moving forward and realize that everyday will be a new struggle against the resistance demon. I won't win every day but it's the small battles that add up to the big victories. I just have to keep moving forward and winning the little battles. Enough with the excuses because when I look back on my life in 5, 10, 20 or more years I don't my days to add up to a big pile of excuses, I want them to add up to an amazing and uncommonly wealthy life full of wonderful experiences and adventures. So now you just have to go out there and do it! :D

Monday, May 05, 2014


This post is long overdue. There are some reasons for that, which I'll explain, and I'll also be talking about some changes that'll be happening to this blog and my life. 

First of all I'm currently in month 6 of my Toronto life and the reason I've been gone so long from this blog has been due to a bit of a downturn I was experiencing in my mood. As this cold and bitter winter dragged on and I found myself fully engulfed in my new job, I also found myself feeling drained of energy and my life seemed meaningless and lacked joy. A big reason for this, I believe is my expectations. As is evident from reading previous blog posts, I was very excited and enthusiastic for this next chapter of my life that came with moving to Toronto. I think my end of winter blues came about due to unrealized expectations. Life was not happening as planned or as fast as I wanted and I was making myself miserable. 

More specifically; starting a new job and life in a new city was a tough transition: tougher than I expected it would be. I've been in a bit of a flunk all winter but I'm starting to feel better now. How is it that I achieved this new-found enlightenment? I just decided to I guess. It's really that simple: I remember feeling a similar way when I previously lived in Peterborough & Lindsay. In that case I eventually gave up and moved back home, essentially running home to mommy when life got tough. This time I wasn't going to do that! I realized that it had really only been a short time and that if I was determined to make a new life for myself here in my new city, that I had to stick it out, for better or for worse. I had made a big, scary change in my life and I did something that a lot of people wouldn't have the guts to do and I wasn't going to let anything stand in my way...not even myself!

I'm determined to make my life the best it can possibly be and I know that my external circumstances aren't always going to be amazing or great but I don't have control over a lot of that, what I do have control over first and foremost is my attitude and how I approach life. So I'm now focusing on the positive, taking stock of the great stuff and being grateful for the life I have, because yes even in the hard times, it could always be worse. I'm grateful that I have a great paying and secure full-time job that a lot people would kill for, I'm grateful to be young, single and living in the heart of a big city. I'm grateful that I do still have a lot of friends and family who love and care about me and just want to see me suceed and be happy. I've started to look at life a little differently in that it may not look like the 'sex in the city' dream I've created in my head but it pretty damn awesome when I refocus my view from that of childlike naivety & idealism to one of realism about how the real world works. It's a breath of fresh air to realize that if I continue to work hard, be positive, grateful and be myself then life will get better. I can't escape life so I might as well embrace it and appreciate the beauty and amazing thing that is my life because it will change, that's the only thing I know for sure, I'm not sure how it will change but I know it will so I choose to believe it will change for the better. 

Also in the vain of positively appreciating my life as it is now, I realize that having all this extra time on my hands, because of my lack of social life, is a bonus for working on myself and my many side projects. What are these projects you may be wondering? Well they have to do with the changes I mentioned earlier in this post. I've decided to take up my cake baking & decorating hobby once again and hopefully turn it into a successful side business. I've created a Facebook page:, twitter account: @amcakesto and soon to be unveiled baking blog and/or vlog. I've also decided that this blog will be refocused from the self-indulgent ramblings back to more concrete ideas on how to create an amazing or uncommonly wealthy life. :)

I'll also be introducing a couple new blogs and possibly a vlog this summer. I will be increasing my web presence through creative endeavours like t-shirts (using Zazzle & Snaptee) and writing as well as using many of the social media platforms I've involved with as ways to connect all these elements and increase traffic/awareness. As a mentioned I'll be creating a baking blog and possible vlog that'll complement by baking/cake decorating business. The other blogs that I'll be creating will be related to other interests of mine: a movie review blog called '3 Stars' and a blog of 'my favourite things' that'll highlight new tech, apps, gadgets, tools, fashion and everything else that I'm loving du jour. Links to come: stay tuned! 

I'm really excited for these changes and these new endeavours. They'll take up a lot of my 'free' time, which will be grand because they're all things that I love to do. I know that once I focus on myself and doing the things I love life will open up in amazing ways for me. Stay tuned, I'll keep you updated! As always, here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)

Thursday, March 06, 2014

My Personal War

It's taken me a long time to force myself to actually sit down to write this here post. I had all sorts of excuses and thoughts of self-loathing that lead me to this eventual place. I'm writing, that's one of the things that I love to do so why do I avoid and fear it so? For that answer I turned to a book that has long sat on my bookshelf unopened: 'The War of Art' by Steven Pressfield. I've been feeling sorry for myself and trying desperately to avoid life for the last weeks and I hated it. As much as I found it hard to shake these feelings I also wanted out but I had no idea where to turn. One evening last week I found myself feeling terrible, being lazy and hating it and I whined out loud to some, to me unnamed entity, that may or may not exist, that I needed help, I wanted out of this rut I had found myself in. Without knowing why within the next few days I had picked up the aforementioned book and began to read it and low and behold it had the answers!
When I first moved to Toronto I had this romantic notion that my life would suddenly be exactly what I had always wished and hoped for, but sadly this dream has not been realized yet; even though it has already been 3 bloody months! So I found myself back in to my normal self-induced drama-fest inside my head and I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong. According to Pressfield and his book I was letting 'Resistance' (to borrow his term) to get the best of me. Resistance in the book is described as the force that keeps us stuck in the comfortable and stuck fearful of pursuing our true desires and anything that could lead to betterment of ourselves. In the simplest terms Resistance prefers immediate gratification (in any form) and tries to destroy our resolve when committing ourselves to something that would require delayed gratification. It feels good to personify this force that has plagued me my entire life whenever I set out to accomplish anything worthwhile. It is in essence self-sabotage, which is something that I unfortunately know all too well. Any time I've tried to pursue a healthy or creative endeavor Resistance rears it's ugly head and most of the time I let it win.

I am not special or unique in my battle with Resistance, however some people are better or worse at battling and defeating this mighty foe. I wonder if this is something that is engrained in some of us: that some are naturally better at winning the Resistance battle than others or is it a learned abiltiy that can be taught and practiced and improved upon? I know that current research into the notion of Willpower has demonstrated that willpower is like a muscle that improves with use, atrophies with disuse and can tire with overexertion. In that sense I believe the notions of willpower and Resistance are closely related. As much as this book revealed some universal truths that have been dancing around the peripheries of my psyche for a long time, it's not necessarily new or ground-breaking ideas. The cure for Resistance according to Pressfield is to simply 'do the work'. Sounds simple, however it's not necessarily easy. It's a daily struggle in which an artist, entrepreneur, someone endeavouring to be healthy, etc. must be constantly vigilant. Pressfield does offer advice in setting yourself a schedule, but his advice can be summed up as quit your whining and get to work. A writer is not a writer unless they write, a painter is not a paint unless they paint and in my case an actor in not an actor unless she acts. Pressfield also highlights the difference between being an amateur that dabbles and a committed professional that takes their endeavour as serious, life-alternating business.

I attended a meditation workshop with a friend this week and I had an experience during the guided meditation that lead to an important truth being revealed to me. This truth being that I lack focus, one of my major problems that has plagued my adult life is the 'shiny-object syndrome' so named by me, just now. (other may call it ADD/ADHD, but I believe it to be more of a symptom of a larger modern western civiliation disease). The instructor explained post-meditation that meditation's ultimate goal is to focus our minds on one single object/idea, in this case our breath, while fighting the minds natural tendency to wonder. It felt like the first time I actually understood what meditation is all about and that was a wonderful feeling to finally know what my problem was and to have a concrete, doable solution. In discussing the meditation afterwards with my friend who also attended, she highlighted something that was revealed to her in her own meditation that I could also relate to. While our instructor spoke she explained that true happiness comes from within, from a mind at peace, which is the ultimate goal of meditation, and that we often seek happiness in external sources that eventually prove to be unsatifying so we move onto the next thing. My friend said that that sounded very familiar in her life and I agreed. We both experience that need for constant change in our lives in order to feel satified and at this point in our lives we are feeling a bit anxious because things are so steady and change is not necessary. I think we both walked away from the session realizing that we should embrace our current circumstances and seek to change our internal worlds instead of the external.

In conclusion, I've started a few things this week and recommitted myself to the many endeavours I have set my sights on this year. I now feel like I have a more realistic viewpoint of my situation. I know it won't always be easy and I'll have to wake up everyday with the resolve to better myself and create something  wonderful. In this vain I know the hard work with be rewarding and will lead to real happiness. It has to be better than the unhappiness that my continual instant gratification affords. What about you: what are some tricks, tips or techniques you use to keep yourself motivated and on track when working on a long-term project? As always, here's to your uncommonly healthy and wealthy life. Ciao!

Sunday, February 02, 2014

The Resolution to End All Resolutions

Welcome back to my blog! This week I want to talk about a personal New Years resolution that I made to myself but I haven't shared on this blog...yet. As you may have guessed, that's exactly what I intend to write about in this here blog post. So, buckle your seat belts and get ready for a mundane and possibly coma-inducing ride! Yippee, here we go! :)

Resolution number one for me was to be more assertive. What I mean by that is the fact that I have a tendency to let people push me around a little too much because I want to seem 'nice' and I want to make sure everyone is happy. This comes from a deep-seated fear that I will one day turn into my mother. I have always thought that being overly 'nice', easy-going and worrying about other peoples happiness is a way to fight turning into the crazy bitch that I know I have inside of me. I've been raised by society to be 'nice', because I'm female and no one will love me and/or marry me unless I'm a nice girl (ugh). So this has been drilled into my head since a young age by family members and pop culture alike as well as the fact that being 'selfish' is the worst thing in the world. What I'm realizing as I get older is that trying to make everyone else happy is an exhausting and futile endeavour that leads to my own unhappiness and ironically turns me into a crazy bitch. What I've noticed from examining previous friendships and relationships is a pattern that goes something like this: I put on a show at the beginning so that people will like me; I'm easy-going and let people get away with whatever they want (hence setting up our relationship to one another early on), then as we start to get closer I feel more comfortable being myself and then all of a sudden my needs aren't being met and it starts to get to me and I get angry/upset and in some instances I have a temper tantrum (the crazy bitch emerges) and enough of these instances happen to lead to the eventual alienation of my friend/boyfriend. This is a pattern I want to stop right now. So my solution is to start accepting and loving myself for the crazy bitch that I am. I'm going to become friends with the bitch inside me and become more assertive in all my relationships about my needs and wants and whether they are being met (or not) through constructive communication.

As an example, I used to live with my parents and my mother is a bit of a control freak and she tries her best to control what I do with my time and my life. This was easier for her when I lived there but now that I no longer live with her I'm noticing that I have a few other 'mother-hen' types in my life who also like to control my time. In the past I would become highly resentful of this fact and just stew and possibly vent to other people but with this resolution I'm determined to talk things out and put my foot down concerning my life and my time. I don't want to just replace my mother with another controlling person (which I've done in the past). No, I want my life and my time to be my own. I've been wondering lately what is it about me that attracts these type of people to me; the people who feel like I'm the type of person who is easily controlled and needs other people to lead me around by the nose? I'm an easy-going person about certain things but other things I'm very rigid. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm a social person and I love being around other people and I enjoy spending time with the people I care about. In this vein I end up putting myself and my life as secondary to other people because I want those people as part of my life and too often I have put my life on hold for the sake of socializing. Socializing has always been a top priority for me over many other important endeavours to the point where school, work and even important relationships have suffered in the past. I have a fear that if I put myself and my own endeavors as top priorities over socializing that I'll have no friends. It may seem childish but it's part of a greater fear of being alone and/or that I'm not good enough and/or unlovable that I believe everyone struggles with their whole life.

Now that I've unpacked the past and the possible reasons, what is the solution? The solution as I've devised is to make myself and my happiness a priority. As counterintuitive as this sounds, being more 'selfish' and more assertive and taking care of myself first will lead to a greater ability to share myself with others and take care them when needed. This will make me a better partner, friend, sister, aunt and daughter. Instead of hurting myself to make everyone else happy I'll take care of myself and the people who really care about me will be happy that I'm happy. This is a poignant topic for me right now because I've come up against a few important people in my life who it seems like are trying to fight me for control of my life, yes you heard that right: MY life. I think this stems from an inability on their own part to value themselves, their time and take control of their own lives that ultimately makes them unhappy. I believe these people feel powerless and out of control in their own lives and therefore react negatively to other people gaining control of their lives and that leads to attempts to sabotage the person who is getting their shit together and taking care of themselves. I need to start working a bit harder to guard myself from these kinds of negative influences in my life and if that means I need to start minimizing my time spent with them then unfortunately that is what I will have to do. I hope I can be an inspiration for these people to get control of their own lives and start making their own happiness a priority the way I intend to do. I really do wish this for these people, even though some may seem too far gone, I will still hold out hope until the very end.

In examining all my New Years resolutions for 2014 I realize that none of them are achievable without this very important first resolution. In looking at my past 'failures/mistakes' concerning resolutions and trying to take care of myself and make a better life it can all be boiled down to my inability to be assertive and make myself a priority. I think an important part of self-love and self-betterment is to make ME the number one priority in my life because I am enough and I am worthy of love and the best way to show the world this fact is to truly believe it and live it everyday. It won't always be easy but I've discovered a few fun techniques to help me in this endeavor; such as journaling and instagraming. In specific: I've started a 365 grateful campaign on instagram in which I post something I'm grateful for everyday on instagram in order to start loving the life I have and a way to increase my happiness now. I'm also going to start a journal in which I write 3 things I value in myself or 3 ways I've added value to the world everyday. I hope to inspire some of you reading this blog to maybe do the same or something similar. In what ways are you being more assertive in your life and taking back your power and living your life your way? As always, here's to YOUR uncommonly wealthy, healthy and happy life! :)

Sunday, January 19, 2014

2 Month Anniversary!

I'm coming up to the 2 month mark of my move to Toronto! :) I know, thank you, thank you, it's been great. It seems only necessary to stick with the tradition of reflecting on the time past when celebrating an important anniversary such as this one. I can hear you now: but it's only been TWO months: that's nothing! However, let me occupy the next few hours (or minutes, depending on how fast you read) of your life in convincing you that these have been the most important 2 months of my adult life thus far.

I was thinking of starting at the beginning but instead I'll start with right now, this moment right here, and then I'll go backwards. At this very moment in time I'm feeling super happy and grateful and honestly I can hardly tell you why...I feel giddy and full of energy and just overall full of joy. I intend to take this time in examining this seemingly odd attitude of mine because that's just the type of person I am: I really like to know the why's in life, maybe why I enjoy mysteries so much...?
Anyways, so the last 2 months, including the first few weeks of the new year (2014) I've been living life in the big city and loving every minute of it.

The main point I want to make about this new life of mine is that it has finally forced me to realize some essential life lessons. These are lessons that I know many people have been trying to tell me and trying to get me to learn for years and I know that at 29 I seem a little late to the party but you know what they say: better late than never?! Right?! Ok, ok so I've been a bit of a girly woman, woman child, lady girl... I'll work on the term but you know what I mean: the Peter Pan syndrome. I've been acting like a big baby for years, kicking and screaming: 'I don't want to grow up!' I know I've touched on this a bit already in previous blog posts, but it definitely bears repeating because this is a paramount moment in my short life on this Earth. In the past I've been a bit of a nihilist towards modern western society, myself and life in general. I was really just a big whiny baby who was afraid of her own shadow (Peter Pan reference again). There were some people in my life who didn't really want me to grow and change (and possibily move on from them), but the people who truly love and care about me really wanted me to grow up and I reacted (predictably) as any child would when they don't get their own way: with a temper-tantrum. So for those people who have stood by, pushed me and believed in me all throughout my temper-tantrum years: I'm sorry, thank you so much and I love you.

Ok, so bear with me, there is a point to all this. One of the main lessons of growing up is taking responsibility for myself and my situation/life. I really loved blaming those people in my life who I preceived as keeping me stuck and society in general and all other manner of extraterrestrial forces for my situation at any given time. I realize now that if there are things in my life that I'm dissatisfied with then it's absolutely my responsibility to do something about it. For example: I'm currently at a weight and body shape that I'm not satisfied with and I've been whining and complaining about it for years and blaming this, that and the other thing for my over-weightiness and looking for an easy way out,a magic pill or someway to be the weight I want to be without any hard work on my part. Well, I think I've finally (I know!) realized that all those things have done nothing to get me in shape. This weekend I told myself: if you are unhappy because you're fat then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Stop eating crap and stop being lazy. So Saturday morning I woke up: did some calisthenics, yoga and then I went for a run and it felt great! I make all sorts of excuses about time, money, energy, society, blah, blah, blah but really it all comes down to me and I'm sick of hearing myself whine and I'm sure everyone else is as well. So I downloaded Zombie Couch to 5k and I'm going to get into shape running from zombies and saving the human race from the 'zomb-scruge' (so aptly me). I honestly can't wait, for the first time in my life I'm actually excited to workout and the best part is I have a couple workout buddies, which will help me stay accountable! :)

So in taking this all together a big part of my growing up and finally becoming an adult is learning to take responsibility for myself and my life as well as learning how to delay gratification. I guess a good way of describing it is that I've now become my own parent and my inner child is FINALLY out of her rebellious stage and we're getting along marvelously like an adult child & parent should. There are a lot of things that I really want RIGHT now but I finally realize that's it's worth the wait to delay until I'm ready. I can wait to be in my own place, I can wait for my dream vacation until my debt is paid of, I can handle the long-haul of doing a lot of hard work to get the body, career and life I want. I'm in this for the longterm, after all this is my longest and most crucial of relationships: the one with myself.

Ok so on a somewhat related note: I'm going to give you an update on my New Years resolutions that I wrote about in my last post. I wrote about saving money and paying off my debt and so far I've paid off 1 (out of 3) of my credit cards: which is an amazing feeling! Granted, it was my credit card with the smallest amount but these small victories are worth so much in terms of my mentailty towards paying off my debt. For the saving side of things: I've set up my bank account so that $50 comes out of my paycheck automatically every payday and into my TFSA (tax-free savings account), but that's not enough to reach my $2000 goal by the end of the year, so for my first February paycheck it will be uped to $100. I must admit that I haven't been doing the best with the working out and healthy eating thing for the last 2 weeks, but as I previously stated, I'm on the right foot now and going forward. I plan on doing the couch to 5k workout 3 times a week and then I'll add aerobics and swimming on my off days and yoga everyday. I'm also going to eat according to a diet plan inspired by Tim Ferris' '4-hour Body' in which I minimize eating the 'white devils' 6 days of the week and leave myself a cheat day once a week, where I can eat whatever I want. I've decided that Saturday will be my cheat day and I'll reserve that day for the once a week that I can eat out as well. I know myself and I know that a cheat day is very important to helping me stick to a somewhat restricted diet. My job is still going great: I'm still in training and kicking butt. I finally feel like I'm meeting some new Toronto peeps and I'm getting visits from old friends and I'm putting in time into my new relationships since I've decided to go back home less. I know it'll take time to really set up a life and a friend circle here but so far I'm on the right track. I've also accepted that I'm no longer in school so I don't have that kind of schedule: I'm ok with going to bed at 9/10 pm most nights because my sleep is very important to me. As you may or may not have noticed it has also been exactly 2 weeks since my last blog post so I'm on a roll with that so far. I've decided Sunday is going to be my blog day (for now, that may change once I start into shifts) and that this blog will take on a more fun & humourous feel from now on. Lastly, I've decided what my screenplay is going to be about! You know the one I plan on writing this year...? Don't tell me you forgot already, sheesh. Anyways I've written down some preliminary notes and I must admit it sounds promising so far. I have yet to research how to properly write a screenplay but I'm not worried, that's the not the hard part.

So I'm not perfect but I'm doing pretty great so far with my resolutions, especially considering I've never actually stuck to any previous new years resolutions, so go me! :) How are your resolutions coming along? Do you have any advice for sticking to them that could help me (or anyone)? Please share! Thanks for reading all the way to the end and as always have a wonderful and uncommonly wealthy day and life! :)